Dear Little Buddy and Little Lady,
The night before I was scheduled to go to the hospital to deliver Little Lady, I sat on our bed and cried my eyes out to your daddy. He was so good to me. He held me and comforted me as I confessed all my fears of the unknown. I absolutely loved our life with Little Buddy at that point. I adored his little 20-month self and all of the things he learned each day. I loved our routine and our relationship. We were bonded, Little Buddy and me. I was terrified of the changes, and I didn't want to lose the time I had to spend with him, since my attention would now be divided among two, one of which was a newborn baby. My heart felt full to bursting with love. How could there possibly be room for another child in there? It didn't make sense to my foolish brain.
What I never could have imagined is how the two of you would love each other. It never crossed my mind that you two would meet a need in each other that I never could hope to meet.
I have a brother and a sister, and we are all three incredibly close in age. Closer than the two of you. But I don't remember a strong attachment with them, as a child. Perhaps that is how the dynamic of three changes things, verses our dynamic of two in our family. They were close, but I was always alone: the oldest. I always had my introverted independent streak that guided my moves. I have no first hand knowledge of that close knit bond of brother and sister, so I certainly wasn't expecting it.
Of course once Little Lady arrived I realized the miracle of the hearts that God placed inside of us. The love I had for Little Buddy need not diminish because of Little Lady's arrival. Somehow the heart just grows and there's that much more love inside for the new family member. I'd read and heard that a hundred times, yet it is one of those things that you cannot understand until you experience it for yourself. It is amazing, miraculous and wonderful. There is always, always room for more love. And each day, the love grows. It feels daily that there is no more room to grow, but grow it does!
(I intended to write more but ran out of time. Next month I will continue my letter to you both, about the relationship you share).
Visit my friend Ginger Unzueta next and view her amazing images and heart felt words.
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Oh, my Carey, I was just writing this in response to our circle....how it is amazing that God gives us this love...that just keeps growing. It is a love that truly represents Jesus' love for us. How He uniquely loves us all in our own ways for how we are. But how He has more than enough love for everyone. Really it is Jesus like in all ways. I love siblings and watching their love form---its pretty great!! I cannot wait...only a short month and we will be sitting together in person chatting. I cannot wait for your arrival!! Much Love to you my friend!
ReplyDeletecarey, you wrote exactly how i felt when i was expecting my little bean. it really is amazing how much love our hearts can hold. LOVE this letter to your littles!
ReplyDeletei ran out of time this month too...that's what i get for leaving it to the very last minute...2am. oy!
Really lovely letter Carey, I think you described how love grows with subsequent children so very well. And what an amazing thing to discover that your children needed the other, I certainly wouldn't have thought of it that way before either (as I wasn't very close to my brother growing up). So sweet, and lovely joyfilled image as well.
ReplyDeletethere is always room, and it just changes us. love is all there is, and sometimes it takes that double miracle to see just how everlasting it is. you have such a lovely honesty in the way you relate to the world. these words, i feel them. this letter was beautiful.
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